The battle rages on.
I AM NOW WELL OVER A WEEK FREE OF MEDICATION – BIFF BAFF BOSH!!!!
Yes, that is meant to be in capitals because I’m shouting it out as I write. Apart from the odd dizzy spell I have had no other side effects. The tingling and headaches have gone and I don’t feel sluggish. I have been absolutely shattered but that has not been down to the medication for the first time in over 2 years!!! I am shattered because I have been active for a few days. It feels great to be shattered; I never thought I would say that.
Things happen for a reason in life and I truly believe in that. My nanna & grandad need help now and I’m so pleased to be able to focus on them. As well as that my business is building albeit working in a therapeutic capacity just now. It matters not because it means I am getting out and about and can lose some of this extra weight I seem to be carrying.
I’m really not happy with that side effect of the meds. I’m hoping it drops off me again now I’m not on them anymore. I really cannot go back to having weight issues again. I don’t have a high opinion of myself in the physical sense to be fair. I guess it’s from years of people putting me down saying comments such as “you’ve got gorgeous eyes, it’s just a shame their in that face”, or “noone’s going to want you, your ugly as s&!t and f#@&ed up in the head”. I can hear you guys saying “Don’t listen to what they are saying; it doesn’t matter what they say”. I know your right but it doesn’t stop you getting down about it. For a long while I would eat but then make myself sick because I didn’t want to put anymore weight on. I would feel guilty for having a full meal & then nip to the loo to get rid of it. When I started to lose weight people would comment about how well I looked. This made me feel great so I continued to do this on and off. I have to be honest and say that I still think about doing it but have refrained from doing so thus far. I guess it will be a continuing battle but I will get there I’m sure. I’m taken on one battle at a time in order to fully beat them. I think all I can say to anyone else going through the same is the first step is to recognise and admit you have a battle that you need to take on. Always open to talk to anyone if you would like to.